Midlife Marriage Trend: Still Hitched, but Checked Out

Monica Corcoran Harel detects a trend among married middle-aged women: More and more seem to be "quietly quitting" on their marriages, she writes at New York Magazine. That is, they're staying in unhappy partnerships and opting for emotional and physical withdrawal over outright divorce. "Let's call it subconsciously uncoupling," writes Corcoran Harel as she digs in. The story draws on interviews with dozens of women, along with therapists, husbands, and even a support group leader for "anxious men" in troubled marriages. Many women describe a slow retreat from their partners—separate bedrooms, solo vacations, or simply tuning out—while staying under the same roof.

It's not always about money or fear of being alone. Sometimes, the hassle of divorce, the inertia of shared routines, and the busy-ness of life keeps couples together as the relationship fades. "I barely have time to talk to you about how I'm quietly quitting my marriage," one woman says. "Planning a divorce right now is out of the question." Another recounts moving into her daughter's room when she left for college. "I can watch old episodes of Broad City. He can look at porn—or whatever he does." All of which might help explain why the divorce rate among women is actually lower than it was decades ago. Read the full story, which notes that husbands typically feel blindsided by the low-level separation, possibly because women tend to have more friends with which they can flesh all this out.