People Know When You Are 'Boomerasking'

This conversation foul is being called out as a social no-no
By Gina Carey,  Newser Staff
Posted Feb 2, 2025 1:15 PM CST
Are You a 'Boomerasker?'
People are now being called out for "boomerasking," a conversational faux pas.   (Getty / Prostock-Studio)

There's now a word for the irksome way some people slyly steer a conversation to allow themselves a chance to brag. Cousin to the humblebrag, "boomerasking," is a play on boomeranging a question so the asker can respond with a boast (as in, starting a conversation with "how was your weekend," only to launch into a response about more exciting weekend plans), writes Alison Wood Brooks in the Wall Street Journal. Wood Brooks, a Harvard Business School professor who coined the phrase in a study, explains why this particular type of conversation manipulator is a social no-no.

"Asking sincere questions, listening to others' answers, and following up on those answers may be the easiest and most powerful pathway to shared understanding and interpersonal connection," she writes. "Boomerasking ruins the magic." With colleague Michael Yeomans, Wood Brooks classified three types of boomerasks, per IFL Science, after distributing a survey with 155 participants. Along with ask-bragging, people steered the conversation back to themselves by "ask-complaining" and "ask-sharing," and often with good intentions.

Some respondents believed their tactics helped others feel more involved in the conversation, but Yeomans and Wood Brooks say they are more likely appearing "egocentric and disinterested in their partner's perspective." To avoid this conversational faux pas, they recommend "chronic boomeraskers" avoid asking questions they cannot butt into with their own rejoinders, and learn when to organically center the conversation on themselves. (These are the 10 rudest cities in America.)

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